When in Rome

I’d only been to Italy once before at the end of a two week inter-railing trip when I was 18, just scraping the surface with a couple of days in Venice. That trip was hilarious - Me, Woody and Jim, aka the most worried traveller in the world, cold sweating at the thought of missing a train, and who brought along 6 pairs of footwear for 2 weeks! More stories about Jim here.

Anyway, this time was a visit to Rome with mum, who unfortunately was unwell on the first day and left me to roam the streets on my own for the whole 5 days. I had to spend 6 hours from midnight in the waiting room of a grotty Italian hospital full of lazy, unprofessional and unhelpful staff - we later discovered Italy’s not renowned for its medical excellence.

Rome itself was amazing. A bit like Paris, with similar architecture throughout the whole town, unobtrusive shop facades built into the original buildings, and something of culture to see around every corner, but a lot cleaner and safer. I didn’t see a single homeless or beggar the whole time and you never feel threatened walking the streets like you can do in the rougher areas of Paris.

I also found that, as with many beautiful European cities, the graffiti is visually inoffensive and actually provides an interesting contrast. Didn’t see much of it in the Sistine Chapel though...

Not as many dog turds either, compared to Paris, the Dog Turd Captial of Europe™, where if you don’t look down while you’re walking, you get home a foot taller than when you left. Check out Rome’s patriotic scaffolding!

The Vatican was mind-blowing. I never thought I could be interested in something like that but when you see the scale of the Basilica itself and the frescos in the Sistine Chapel, it really is humbling. Apparently in 1972, an Australian mentalist suddenly jumped out from his tour group onto Michelangelo’s “Pietà”, often described as the finest sculpture in the world, and hit it repeatedly with a hammer exclaiming “I am Jesus Christ risen from the dead!!”

Then the rest of the tour group, instead of calling out for help, chose instead to pocket the fragments of stone he’d broken off and take them home! Apparently 15th century masterpieces do pretty well on ebay. Check out how this Roman dude’s carrying his basket of fruit - I’ve only ever seen a carrying feat like that with ring donuts.

Another thing that surprised me was that Michelangelo painted the whole ceiling of the Sistine Chapel standing up, just craning his head back, and that it was actually the first ‘painting’ he’d ever done. Not bad for a sculptor with a 15kg beard full of dry paint.

I also took a trip out of Rome to Florence for the day, to see amongst other things the famous Ponte Vecchio, a loose copy of which can be found in Bath, and the Prada outlet, which is in the middle of nowhere, not advertised or sign-posted as is apparently a bit of a thorn in the side of Prada’s rip-off enterprise. You can just make out a digital counter on the side of the unmarked building, for controlling entrance of the Asian Invasion® of brand-hungry Japanese tourists everyday...err...like me.

Florence was much smaller than Rome, and infact reminded me a bit of Bath, aside from the huge number of scooters scooting around and the Africans trying to flog some of Beijing’s finest Rolecks and Kartier.

Unfortunately I didn’t catch a glimpse of the latest edition to the Italian police fleet, but did spot a fake Jaguar XK8!!

Those not lucky enough to have the Gallardo have to settle for something a little less powerful.

Speaking of Smartcars, it was finally time to say goodbye to the 5LUG, sadly way before the last wave of modifications I had lined up for it...

After all, there is only so far you can polish a turd.