.com
The first wedding I ever go to and it’s my homeboy Rich’s! Nothing like an LGS wedding as an excuse for an old boys’ reunion and some male bonding, and all taking place in CaliforNI-A.
Los Calamigos Ranch, California 2007
I couldn’t believe I was watching Tagnet under the altar. My wingman all through the sixth form and at uni - who would have thought that the same man that lost his V-plates to a girl nicknamed “The Beast” was now exchanging vows with Nicole.
Jim’s 21st, 2000
Check out this video footage from the now legendary 1997 trip to Tenerife. Picture the scene - Jim, the cameraman and Jensen, the poolman, are the only 2 with girlfriends. All the rest of us are hormonally enraged 18 year olds but with unfortunately as much game as the Sherminator. Listen out carefully for the immortal lines "hopefully crash and burn with a few birds", "heading to T's for some professional dancing", and the last bit about the toilets... oh my god this stuff is hilarious!!
I can remember the day I first heard about Nicole. It was in Paris, after a particularly hefty night out as usual with Garcia and Redpath, ringing my wingman to see how his night had been and whether he’d pulled. Anyway, the conversation went like this:
“Tagnet you skanking b*stard! How was last night??”
“yeah mate, not bad...errr...can’t really talk now..”
“eh? wait a minute Tarrant you sneaky dog! You’ve got a bird there haven’t you?!”
“nah mate, not at all...just...err...just don’t come over here for a few hours,ok?”
“aha haa Tarrant!! You have got a bird there haven’t you!! I’ll be over in five!!”
“no mate, seriously, don’t come over here!...please man....Condon?...CONDON?!”
And the next thing Tarrant had me at his door trying to break it down, until he finally opened up, but managed to with-strain me from craning my head around the door to see what he’d dragged back from the Parisian night.
Paris 1999
Anyway, I could tell this time it was different. Whilst most of Tarrant’s pull stories end up with some comedy line like “and I still had a lob on while I was pissing out the window!!” or “mate, I just couldn’t face it...the whole room stank of fish!”, this time there were no gory details, and try as we might, Garcia and I just could not get the boy back into the game, he just wasn’t listening.
London 2005
By uni, we were all sharing a house together, the legendary COACH HOUSE, with Nicole like an illegal immigrant hidden away in Tarrant’s loft room, surfacing only to buy Heat from the newsagent.
The Coach House, Bath 2001
Garcia and I could see Tarrant slowly changing in a way that had “bird” written all over it. His grey, moth-ridden school issue sweater, nicked from Hugh Roberts in the 5th year, was replaced by a smart jacket, his worn-to-death Nikes with his toe nail sticking out the front and walking virtually bare foot on the ground were replaced by respectable loafers, and the Ibiza trance that we used to blare out, jacking off to the crescendo in his room in Paris was replaced by some seriously dodgy Spanish guitar music. Garcia and I were in a state of shock.
London 2005
Anyway, there has to be a time when you let go, and soon everyone realised that even after graduation, Rich & Nicole (Ricole), were inseparable.
Bath Uni 2001
It was with a tear in my eye that I watched Rich slip the ring on Nicole’s finger. The same Rich that Whelly and I used to quiz about his first sexual experiences in French tv class in the sixth form. The same Rich that used to make up nicknames for all the fit birds at uni that we didn’t have the guts to talk to.
London 2005
(How good is that photo??!) The same Rich that whilst living together in the second year for possibly the most comedy year of my life, used to join me in plastering our house with pictures of bus-stop willies, putting loud porn on the tv whenever our girl housemates were on the phone to their mums, surviving off Somerfield bargain basement sausages and our subsequent farting battles, walking to the local garage to read the top-shelf material in our slippers and dressing gowns and pranking eachothers’ asses everyday of the week, all in preparation for the year-of-torment that Garcia would be to endure two years later in the Coach House. Check out our dual-screen living room setup! Luxury!!
Marsden Rd, Bath 1998
The same Rich that bet Murphy that he couldn’t have a ..... well, that’s another story, but anyway, as I watched Rich kiss his bride, I was witnessing the end of an era, and the start of his new life and I’m so happy for him.
Malibu 2007
The wedding, incidentally was great. Harvey obligingly (unknowingly) read out all the stuff we’d made up about Tarrant in the speech and all the LGS boys had a laugh at Tarrant’s expense as Harvey reeled off a list of his misdemeanors at school which were infact all our own or completely fictitious.
Ben, speech in hand, blissfully unaware...
The next day while Rich & Nicole jetted off to Hawaii for their honeymoon, we all went for a hung-over lunch by the sea, followed by a Mustang owners’ club meeting.
Click on the photo below of Tristan and his twin brother for the gallery. I’d love to take credit for the amazing black and white photos at the top and above, but the photographer Duncan took those.
.com