Taking the Mickey

Back at school in the sixth form when we were allowed to wear our own choice of white shirt rather than the standard issue blue ones for the lower school, everyone went through the designer label one-upmanship phase. There was only one thing better than a genuine Ralph Lauren or Lacoste shirt, and that was a hideously fake one. From bluing crocodiles the size of dinosaurs (Whelband) to Polo horses with three legs running diagonally (Redpath), the worse the fake the better, and thanks to a Chinese lad in our year who sold them for a fiver back from his trips home, we were all kitted out with some of Beijing’s finest counterfeit clothing. Incidentally,Whelband’s pièce de résistance was a fake Rolex on an Animal strap. Just look at the boy though, it’s not hard to imagine...

It’s thanks to Chinese counterfeit produce again that I’ve seen possibly the funniest news clip ever. The marketing genii in Beijing have really outdone themselves this time, with a fake Disneyland no less!! Check out Mickey and Donald’s besmirched communist faces! This stuff would scar your kids for life!!

The theme park’s slogan is “When Disney is too Far Away!”, and they’ve even copied all the rides,and thrown in some random fake Sanrio characters too for good measure. Their version of Hello Kitty is just plain disturbing, with a red stain above its nose and half the whiskers hanging off! I love the way they blatantly copy the characters, but chose to (?)disfigure them slightly, like some nuclear fall-out version.

Unfortunately the report’s in Japanese but the funniest part is the interview with the park manager, who when asked whether he thinks that his park and its characters even vaguely resemble Disney, answers “No, not at all. It’s like human beings - some people look similar to others, and that’s the same with the characters at this theme park! It’s not Mickey Mouse, it’s a big-eared CAT!” ha ha haaaaaa!!

It’s not just the appearance of the characters though, it’s the behavior of the Chinese dudes in the outfits. Some of them are walking around with their head masks off, all just in a massive group. I remember when I worked in internal communications for Disneyland Paris, and every morning I had to walk through the park to the recording studio to record the daily phone news line.

Disneyland Paris 2000

Obviously, the Disneyland parks have strict regulations about the characters, how they act, and exact timings about when they can come out. Anyway, one morning I walked into the park to see Tigger ready at his photo spot, then walked 100 metres further to find yet another Tigger bouncing around! I thought that was funny enough (and needless to say waited a good half hour before telling the staff...), but can you imagine the confused children when they see not one but three deformed Mickeys kicking around the Beijing Disneyland, one with his mask off on a coffee break?!

It makes it all the more funny when you compare the amazing efficiency and cleanliness of Tokyo Disneyland with Beijing’s knock-off version. Unfortunately however, over the weekend a Japanese tv channel kicked up so much of a stink about it that the owners decided that they were in very hot water with Disney’s lawyers, and decided to destroy all the characters, even though the management still denied any resemblance whatsoever with the ‘real’ Disney. Unfortunately the youtube video was removed for "copyright violation" (a youtube user violating copyright by uploading a video of a company violating copyright I guess) so you'll have to search elsewhere to check out Mikey, Donaldo and Snow White and her Seven Nuclear Winter Dwarves. Absolute comedy!! God bless the Chinese!!